notes from a never-was.

June 16, 2022

next door.

She would sit. Sit and be alone. Because she liked it. Because it was difficult. Because it was how it was supposed to be. Made no difference if it was a park, second to last seat of the downtown bus, middle of a crowded diner, following the upwards stroke of a brush along stretched canvas,…
June 2, 2022

Sable.

Her footprints led to the ocean’s edge. She stood where the waves wouldn’t touch, naked toes just out of reach from the sea foam. Wasn’t sure of much anymore, but she sensed that any premature contact, when the moment arrived, would drag her away. Then down into the depths. The wind whipped at her…
May 13, 2022

letters of transit.

They zoomed in from above. A cul-de-sac development posing as a neighborhood. Surrounded by nothing, producing nothing. Desert inconsistencies, layer-cake sideshow of red, yellow, and a dusty blue sky. A row of houses that bordered on the preordained. White siding, windows in perfect sync, lawns like decorative bellies, sprawling. Falling just short of sidewalks that…
May 4, 2022

domestic.

I had just settled in. Surrounded by all the simplest things. A near-empty room. Hardwood floors, high ceilings. Ensconced by three naked walls and a pair of looming casement windows, three stories above the gravel parking lot of Camelot Apartments. Lamp in the corner burning bright, spherical midnight. Loose-leaf paper scattered like ripe snowflakes.…
April 25, 2022

Making Love On the Moon.

This was a dry slice of wisdom handed down by Mr. Joe Watson, and on the surface, it was nothing new. This is a man’s world, Lucky, he told me. They are the takers, the mapmakers. Self-appointed gods of history. And if there’s one thing God’s incapable of, it’s offering any kind of explanation…
April 18, 2022

backchannels.

Waited until past one in the a.m. to open the window. Snuck out onto the rooftop. Well past curfew. Limber steps leaving bare impressions on shingles and corrupted gutters. Stealthy against the current of stars and an outdated moon, moving towards yesterday me. Taking it slow at the outset. Pressing my body close as patrol…
April 16, 2022

at the gates.

sat myself outside. red steps. back against a closed door. cigarette. Jack Daniel’s. music still bumping, catching a row of bikes parked against the fairground fence. and what was on my mind… 6:25, here’s how the air feels on a perfect day, taste of a willow tree. sun at a lower level, some 71 degrees.…
April 12, 2022

tell me.

that’s just it, i said. everything tastes. and that’s what makes the best of memories unbearable. sent two strokes down along her arm, back up. your pillowcase. the bench where we used to laugh over loaded drinks. the tree i once climbed without an exit plan, the bark, leaves, roots, dirt under my fingernails. separated…
March 30, 2022

wild palm.

Just over the six-five wooden fence and some thirty feet beyond, a palm tree stands tall, her crown in its entirety peeking out and over, shag haircut a dark green. Neighboring lights keep her visible at night, create a double exposure of stark silhouette and a glowing, outlined aura. And on nights when a storm…
March 20, 2022

alphabet cum.

i’m not going to not say what it was about that single entirety. sometimes you marvel at on top, side to side, from behind. one of us gets strapped down, turned around. so many ways you can breathe into someone’s ear, maybe several someones if the world had a way of smiling that day. there…